similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
