Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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