dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
