You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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