Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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