So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
