also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize