I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
