summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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