Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
