he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
