Sponge bath it is.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i out mim tonsoeep
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