Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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