She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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