Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
