When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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