in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
