I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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