I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
