I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
