I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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