the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
