Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
