My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
