Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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