Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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