i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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