No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
