I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize