Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
