WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
