He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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