I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
