I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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