That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
