So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
