i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize