I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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