these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
