whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize