Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
