went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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