PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
