How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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