I just threw up on my dentist
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
