I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
