just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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