Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
