And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
