I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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