I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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