My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
