I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
