Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
