I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
