just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize